Installment Numero Uno

My memories of Sparkle and my relationship with him has a strong foundation. And that foundation is that my childhood dream was to become a pet. Not an animal but a pet. I would roll one of my mother's clean kitchen hand towels and stuff one end to the back of my pants and crawl around the house on all fours. In order to authenticate this experience I would make trips to the dog bowl and lay in all of Sparkle's favorite spots. I would lie on the carpet staring at Sparkle, envious of his marvelous life. No school, plenty of food, and endless attention from my father. Sometimes I would randomly collapse on the floor and pretend I had died to see if Sparkle would try to revive me. Once he nudged me with his wet black nose, and I thought it was a sure sign that he loved me. I would stick dog food in the pockets of my pants so that he would follow me around the house. I would glow as he mimicked my every move. He loved food, not me, but I had found a way to pretend. One day my mother told me that I could not come home from school for lunch. My mother's words greeted me like a punch in the stomach. I always walked home from school for my daily regimen of macaroni and cheese and a hot dog cut up into bite size pieces. I wasn't even quite sure where the cafeteria was. So I walked home anyways. The house was empty and Sparkle was the only one to greet me at the door. I searched the house looking for my brother and mother. After a failed search I sat on the couch and cried. I thought a child's tears were magical, able to beckon their mothers. So I cried and cried. Sparkle just laid on the floor looking bored. It was then that my envy for him climaxed. I was frantic. I didn't know what time to start walking back to school...I couldn't tell time at all. Finally my mother walked into the kitchen with Caleb holding a McDonald's Happy Meal box. I was too relieved to see my mother to be upset about missing out on McDonald's. The two feelings seemed to cancel themselves out. What was left was my dream of being a dog.