What if Lady Gaga Does Have a Penis?

I've never liked a musician more without ever really listening to their music than Lady Gaga. The Advocate quoted her saying "I love the rumor I have a penis. I’m fascinated by it. In fact, it makes me love my fans even more that this rumor is in the world because 17,000 of them come to an arena every night and they don’t care if I’m a man, a woman, a hermaphrodite, gay, straight, transgendered, or transsexual. They don’t care! They are there for the music and the freedom. This has been the greatest accomplishment of my life — to get young people to throw away what society has taught them is wrong. Gay culture is at the very essence of who I am and I will fight for women and for the gay community until I die.”
So eloquently stated and articulate. I love her for her nonchalance about the speculation that she has a penis rumors and her embracing attitude. This can not be said enough- Lady Gaga is awesome. But of course there is another side to the coin. It's sad but true. The other side is that just because her fans arrive for a show doesn't mean they are all on the same terms when it comes to gay rights. In comparison to the reaction the Dixie Chicks received from their fans after saying certain things about Bush not being their president, Gaga's fans seem...less affected. But The Dixie Chicks birthed their fan base from a certain locale, a specific type of group that might be a little bit more conservative. But Lady Gaga came out swinging to a different tune from day one. So I'm not surprised that people didn't stopped coming to her shows because she might have a penis or she might be gay or bisexual. Expectations are wide when you're thinking about buying tickets from a musician that puts soda cans in her hair as curlers.
And then there is the notion of pop culture being an almost all inclusive easy to access tradition. Pop is everywhere and is hard to say no to or boycott.
Another big thing, is that Lady Gaga (as far as I know) has yet to say yes or no to the question. If she gives a yes, what would the reaction be?

Flash Mob Protest

For those who feel like tapping their toes to a brassy beat and want to learn about protests and hotel boycotts happening in San Fransisco and how you can get involved watch this video of a Flash Mob Protest to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" song.


For more info go to this website www.sleepwiththerightpeople.org

PBS, BP and Thumbs Down to Rand Paul

Lots of things happening. Rand Paul won Kentucky, and not 48 hours after celebrating, he made some comments about the 1964 act to help end discrimination that could be taken as racist. BP is not taking full responsibility for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and I can't believe that BP is still existing. 5,000 barrels of oil a day! They initially released the spill as 1,000 barrels a day. Going back to the wonderful National Tea Party politician Rand Paul, he stated that he thinks Obama and the US government have been too harsh on BP and that "sometimes accidents happen". Yes, sometimes milk spills but someone still did the spilling. And BP was warned repeatedly that their pipelines needed to be fixed. The history of BP is that they would rather pay up fines than to fix problems. And Rand Paul wants LESS government intervention? So I will announce that Rand Paul is the next George W. Bush. Looking on the bright side, my inner anger has been lonely since Obama was elected so it will be happy to have some company in the near future.
So I thought I would relax and try to tune out of the horrible events going on by enjoying my local PBS channels. Lucky for me they were doing their Festival 2010 pulling and tugging at viewers to donate. And then I thought about how PBS is socialism. Similar to our parks, our US Postal Service, our public schools and our public libraries. Or maybe like a media outlet on welfare. And needless to say, PBS is awesome. Lovely programs that make me feel smart in a way my lazy self can really appreciate. And there are no commercials only "brought to you by" interspersed so I don't loose interest. Seriously. PBS is where it's at, and Rand Paul...is not.

A Letter to Louise

I found this after I finished my post on the "god hates fags" church. In which I state that the main purpose for their campaign is that unlike race and sex, people choose their sexuality. "A Letter to Louise" was written by Bruce W. Lowe who wrote the letter to a good friend who told him that her "brother hates God, because God made him gay". He didn't know how to reply to this statement, so immersed himself in the physcological, theological, and social research pertaining to homosexuality. I read parts of the letter, and I now have a great admiration for Bruce W. Lowe. He was one who once thought of gays and lesbians and sexual deviants, but found that he had no foundation to these ideas. Anyone as annoyed with the "god hates fags" church as I am, should read his letter. It is insightful and refreshing to read a man of religious beliefs able and willing to understand our community. It really made my day.

We Hate Your Hate

Being obsessed with Constance McMillen, I read any article with her name mentioned in the headline. The latest one stated that the "god hates fags" campaign headed by the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas is going to be picketing McMillen's graduation. So I browsed their lovely website dedicated to hate and I was stunned in shock and horror. I have run into some "god hates fags" followers on the sidewalk downtown a few years ago, but I had no idea how committed they were. I mean they actually have a picketing schedule! Mostly of Jewish events...
Their logo is of an upside down American Flag which really demystifies some notions I have of fundamental Christians. From their website it's not easy to really find out what they actually believe in, besides hating the LGBTQ community. Apparently, the WBC during the 1960's fought for civil rights and used god to combat racism and segregation. So they have a sense of equality there. They believe though, that race and sex are factors of a person's character that they can not change, while sexual preference(s) are a choice...and according to them anything non-heterosexual is the wrong choice. Ugh. That's all I can really muster as a response. I'm too tired having the nature vs. nurture argument.
But what I am most offended by that I was expecting to be offended by is that the WBC refers to the bible in the feminine pronoun. I might be treading on thin lines when I say this but I don't think of the bible as preaching violence and I don't think as the feminine force as violent. If anything I think that the feminine has been oppressed and obliterated by violence and that violence has often been justified by the bible. Maybe that's the WBC's way of being progressive, or maybe that's the WBC's way of hiding behind the fact that Phelps is a man preaching violence. Whenever there is a debate on religion, I always just think to myself "the bible says a lot doesn't?" People make it say, whatever they need it to say. I can't help but think of a Broken Social Scene t-shirt they were selling at one of their concerts that read "we hate your hate". That's what I feel, but I don't think I'm breaking even on this one.

Selling Biscuits and Gender

This is not breaking news, but every once in awhile when I'm watching T.V., a commercial just grabs my attention a.k.a. rubs me the wrong way. Last night it was the "'Nascar' Hardee's Biscuit" commercial.

It doesn't take a lot to see the sexism in the commercial but analyzing helps me cope with the blatant gender stereotypes. The big claim Hardee's makes is that "men don't bake" so men need to buy their biscuits from Hardee's. Of course, this is related to the idea that men don't cook because women do it for them. Which is...sexist. More and more I find that flexibility and fluidity are major advantages to any functioning relationship. I recently heard on the morning news that a large percentage of married couples find that chores are very important in their relationship and many couples split because of bickering over chores. I can see how gender stereotypes and gender binaries seem to simplify this matter. Women are constrained to the inside domestic, while men are in charge of outdoor public matters. There is a line that is drawn so that fights are minimized. But what about non-heterosexual relationships. And isn't it naive to think that relationships are always 50-50? Sometimes it's 75-25. When we confine our ideas to gender stereotypes in the 'modern' age, women often have "double shifts". Meaning they go to work in the morning, but they come home having to do their domestic chores.
Men do bake, they need to bake. And this is the interconnectedness of women's rights and gender.
Commercials like the Hardee's commercial sell gender just as much as they are selling biscuits. According to Hardee's, real men lounge in an untidy living room watching Nascar...and buy their food rather than making it themselves.

Williams Staged the Attack?

I just read an update on the Williams case from the Lexington Kentucky Newspaper. (Is it weird that their logo is oddly similar to Walmart's?"). The local newspaper article reports that the alleged victim, Williams, shot a video from her cell phone during the attack. The defendants attorney's claim that this proves that Williams was just staging the attack along with the other three high school students who have plead not guilty. Their attorney's believe that since Williams had a cell phone to shoot a video, she could have just called 911 for help. Instead she shot the video on Friday April 16th, the day of the alleged attack and then reported it the following Monday.
The local police investigating this still claim that there is no evidence that this is a hate crime. Williams mother still believes otherwise.
My initial reaction that the idea that Williams staged this assault, was that it was definitely possible. What a better way to commemorate The National Day of Silence than to stage a hate crime based on sexual orientation? It gets the point across that school in the United States need to fight harassment and bullying towards the LGBTQ students. But there could be more to this case that the investigators who are stubborn to see this case as anything but a practical joke.
Williams may have fought a video because she was afraid that no one would believe her that she was kidnapped, beaten and then was a victim of attempted murder. It would have been the stories of three against one, and it seems that the Jackson County police are a bit weary on throwing out 'progressive' terminology such as 'hate crimes'. Maybe Williams understood the resistance her community has against LGBTQ issues, and recording a video would be the only valid evidence lawyers and police investigators couldn't explain away. She was kidnapped and taken to Flat Lick Falls. Flat Lick Falls and the surrounding 86 acres of land was purchased by the government. There is little development in the area that Williams was taken to. I know that when I go camping at my nearby National Park, I get zero cellphone service. Perhaps Williams couldn't call 911 because she couldn't get any reception and then opted for the next best thing she could think of which was to get evidence of the attack.
Nothing would surprise me about this case except for the local police opening themselves up to possibilities of this being a hate crime.

Prank or Attempted Murder?

Every April 16th, The National Day of Silence is held annually in schools across the United States to bring attention to the bullying and harassment to LGBTQ students. Cheyenne Williams is an out lesbian and attends high school in Kentucky. On The National Day of Silence, Cheyenne Williams was kidnapped by three high school students where they drove Williams to a cliff and then tried to push her off the 50 foot cliff. Kentucky police are still investigating but so far do not believe this is hate crime but a prank. "Right now, we have obtained certain facts that would indicate that might be the case, that it may have been a prank,” Sgt. Matt Feltner with the Kentucky State Police told WKYT 27. “This is not a hate crime. Right now we’re still gathering facts and still investigating.”
Lets go over some facts Sgt. Feltner. Hate crime by definition (Wikipedia): Hate crimes (also known as bias-motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her perceived membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, sexual orientation, disability, class, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, or political affiliation.

"Hate crime" generally refers to criminal acts which are seen to have been motivated by hatred of one or more of the listed conditions. Incidents may involve physical assault, damage to property, bullying, harassment, verbal abuse or insults, or offensive graffiti or letters (hate mail).

Just to put on thing out of the way: kidnapping someone and then attempting to push them off a cliff is NOT a prank. It's a lot more than a simple prank. While we are at it we should Wikipedia define "prank": "A practical joke (also known as a prank or gag) is a trick to purposely make someone feel foolish or victimized, usually for humor. Practical jokes differ from confidence tricks in that the victim finds out, or is let in on, the joke rather than being fooled into handing over money or other valuables. Practical jokes or pranks are typically lighthearted and made to make people feel foolish or victimized to a certain degree, although in some practical jokes there could be an inherent strain of cruelty present."

Some people might say that it was a coincidence that Williams is a lesbian, and just because she's a lesbian, doesn't dictate that this is a hate crime. Answer: It was The National Day of Silence! An LGBTQ campaign to end discrimination, bullying and harassment in schools. This was something that was planned to happen on April 16th. And it happened to Williams because she was gay.

I hope that the Kentucky police look into the definitions of hate crimes and really think about correct punishments. And if not, I hope that Williams has a wonderful lawyer and help from the ACLU.

Conservatives Broadening the Meaning of Equality?

Wonderful news has broken the long silence cast between the White House and the LGBTQ community last week when President Obama released a memorandum that would grant hospital visitation rights to gay and lesbian partners. Also, under Obama's memorandum, gay and lesbians can make medical decisions for the partners. Obama also stated that hospitals that accept medicare and medicaid cannot deny medical services based on religion, race, nationality, sex, sexual orientation and gender identity.
Such a wonderful surprise! Unlike the health care debate there does not seem to be any forewarning to Obama's statements last week. Forewarn is to forearm which might explain the lack of resistance that would be expected from the conservative party. The New York Times said "But [conservatives] did not say Mr. Obama’s argument — that gay men and lesbians deserve the same rights as others to have partners visit them in hospitals or make medical decisions that were previously agreed — was wrong on the merits." To reiterate the important part "But [conservatives] did not say Mr. Obama's argument...was wrong on the merits".
Really?! Another shocker because aren't these rights some of the same ones granted through something people have been calling "gay marriage"? To me at least, gay marriage can be boiled down to rights. Rights granted and respected by both federal and state governments. The right to sit at the bedside of a loved one who is dying in a hospital, to inherit ownership of property as a widow/er would. As the New York Times reported, it seems that conservatives don't have much of a problem with equality, a.k.a. equal rights. So I can't help but think that they still hold an archaic vision of what it means to be gay. Western American society is hypersexualized and women and the LGBTQ community are the groups that carry the brunt. Conservatives think of sex when they think of gay marriage. News Flash: We don't need to get married to have sex. Heterosexual couples do not need a marriage license to have sex, that is not the purpose of marriage. It's a legal action. To prove this point, think about divorce. In order to absolve a marriage you need lawyers, a judge, and signatures on legal documents. This is an attempt to be fair in separating property that was once jointly owned by the couple through marriage.
So conservatives: What's the problem? Why are you okay with hospital visitation rights, but not other rights given through marriage? I wish that you all might delve a little deeper on the meanings of equality, because you obviously have some sense of it for agreeing with Obama's "merits". Hopefully sooner, rather than later.

"Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?"

The story of Constance McMillen has gotten some wide media coverage and I guess I was naive to think that it would help her struggle to be a part of a school funded prom that allowed her to A). Wear what she wanted B). Bring who she loved. Instead people from her school created TWO proms, and only told Constance about one of them and all but 7 people went to the real prom. Aren't the consequences of premeditated acts more severe? And to top it all off Constance's peers started a Facebook page to advocate for McMillen to "quit yer cryin".
McMillen obviously doesn't live in a gay bubble. She has the support of her father and friends and everyone else blames her for the prom fallout. She seems to be a very wonderful, intelligent, kind, and brave young woman and I sincerely hope that she gets her dreams.
So hear are the published work phone numbers for the Superintendent & Principal of Itawamba Agricultural High School.

Teresa McNeece, superintendent (662)862-2159 Ext. 14

Trae Wiygul, principal (662)862-3104

Make sure to call during business hours.

Semenya and the "Gender Test"

Anyone remember Caster Semenya? The female runner who won the women's 800 at the 2009 World Championships in Berlin, and since her times were so fast, and she is quite muscular she was ordered by the IAAF to take a "gender test". I don't want to get into a debate on why men shouldn't compete with women. But just a couple things I thought were interesting.
1). The idea of taking a "gender test". I can't imagine that it tests gender, but more accurately stated it probably tests chromosomes to find out if there are male or female chromosomes present, or both. Lets not get it confused. Lets not name things that make sex and gender interchangeable. Sex is biological and gender is social!

2). That it was Semenya's speed and body type that made the IAAF suspicious of her "gender". Which is to say, that because Semenya was so fast, and she has a lot of muscle on her body than she must be a man. Meaning: fast = man and muscular = man and ultimately winning = man.
And then what does this say about women who are muscular? They should question and everyone else should question their "gender"? Athletes always have to play around or play against ideals of gender and their talent as athletes. Semenya is a talented runner, but in running, it challenges notions of femininity. As with women playing any sport. Aggressiveness, speed, competitiveness, strength are all traits of masculinity. Which many scientist will say that men need these traits because they need to compete with other men to find a mate. But that was back in the day when we needed to populate and we didn't use language to communicate our desires and feelings.

Anyways. What this all boils down to is that gender is much more complex then society lets it be. Instead of calling it a "gender test", do we call it a sex test? But some people might say, just get a Dr. to do a simple physical check. But that doesn't dictate the actual chromosomes. A biologically sexed female may still have male DNA. Or the person could be intersexed and then what is the verdict? No running at all? Can't run in women's races or men's or can run in either one?
Yes gender is a complex issue, and that needs to be at the forefront...the simple knowledge that gender is much more intricate than male or female...that is the lesson that needs to be heard.

Morehouse College and Pride Week

The Atlanta school has agreed to host gay pride week, yet had not put the event on their school schedule. Morehouse has a unique history and as their website dictates "Although times change, Morehouse’s mission remains steadfast: to produce academically superior, morally conscious leaders for the conditions and issues of today, whether “today” is post-Civil War or turn of the new millennium." Are gay rights not an issue of today? This would be a great opportunity for Morehouse to support LGBTQ rights and reaffirm their stance on equality in today's world.
Let Morehouse College know that they should be proud of their students creativeness, motivation, and steadfast beliefs in equality and publicly celebrate gay pride week. Call, e-mail, twitter, blog about Morehouse and applaud their steps towards celebrating diversity and let them know to hold gay pride week publicly and openly!

Morehouse College Contact Info:
President's Office- Fran Phillips-Calhoun Chief of Staff 404-215-2645

Office of Student Development
Dr. Waltrina E. Dufor, Director
Phone: 404-681-2800 x3461
Fax: 404-222-2584
wdufor@morehouse.edu
Office Hours: Monday-Friday, 9:00 AM -5:00 PM

Campus Operations

Andrè E. Bertrand
Vice President
ext. 2717
abertrand@morehouse.edu

Nominate Asheville NC for Google Fiber

Campaign for Real Beauty?

Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty is a wonderful tug of effort to break down hardening stereotypes of feminine beauty. This is a wonderful step in the right direction. In any Intro to Women Studies class, the first thing everybody usually wants to talk about is the closed focus of society's norms of beauty for women. The crucial part of the discussion, I think, is that the problem with society's norms of women's beauty is that it is created by the desires of men and women themselves have not had the power to create it for themselves. That's why the norms are oppressive, and for the majority of the time are unrealistic. For a fantastic example do a simple google image search of "the perfect woman"....see the unrealistic sexual desires...most likely created by a man?
Now I just did a search on Dove. Apparently it is owned by the company Unilever and how much would you like to bet the number of female executives? What?! Zero...how did you know? I know that Dove is going in the right place of portraying semi-realistic images in their ads (not all of them, only the ones under the heading of "Campaign for Real Beauty"), but isn't the problem the authorship of these ads? And what is the intent behind the ads? A company is still a company that is fueled off of our money and they will say what they need to say in order for you to buy Dove. It reminds me of the SC Johnson ads that talked about how some of their manufacturing plants that made things like Windex were eco-friendly, fueled from the methane gas from landfills and how these products have a special green sticker on them so the consumer will know how their product was made. Of course I like the idea of using landfill fumes to energize a plant. But the real problem is the chemicals that are being produced from the products they are making in the first place.
There are these movements like environmentalism and feminism that have fought hard to make change. And then these ideas are corportized to try to gain a profit. Masked as eco-friendly because of a small adjustment made. They could take 10 steps, but instead they take one, and we applaud them for it by buying their products. Dove should make ALL their ads a "Campaign for Real Beauty" not just the ones that come on during Oprah.
On a good note for SC Johnson, the HRC gave them a score of 100 for the third consecutive year. So seems SC Johnson is taking another step or two.

Popping the Gay Bubble

I don't know when it was formed or the history of its origins, but I am aware now of its existence- the gay bubble. At least I thought I was in it, but I realized I moved just outside of its borders where I feel less insulated. Living in the bubble has its advantages, its long list of pros. The security, the comfort, the community and most importantly the validation. But staying in the comfort of the bubble you loose sight of the outside world where equality for LGBTQ still needs to be fought. You take for granted when you can grab your partners hand when strolling down the sidewalk. I think that this bubble has its major advantages to the newly out folks. But then when you step out of the bubble there's a hardening realization that you were in a bubble! Where instead of having a relaxed conversation on LGBTQ issues, you're having a full on argument which has turned into defending your very being. Where love apparently has its calculated perimeters and you're trying to stretch that meticulously drawn line so you fall within.

And I'm left wondering if people have learned anything from the battles that have been fought through the women's rights movement and the civil rights movement. Have the same arguments not already been made and lost? Have people not realized the fallacy of using God to promote hate? I think that believing that gays and lesbians don't deserve equality is not that different than beliefs of segregation or sexism.
And then there are those that fall in between- the "i don't hate gays, I know someone who is gay". These in between-ers are a little tricky because they think they understand. They don't understand why many are not willing to settle for civil unions. Instead we demand marriage, and they think it's just a lost battle. I don't think separate but equal exists. When you draw a line in a political context there is a distinction that is made and it has to do with power. The ones with power and the ones without. And I'm not going to fight for an empty box (civil unions) just to feel like I gained something.

The New Gender = Neuter?

Maybe I should wait for my second cup of coffee before I embark on a discussion on the world's first officially named genderless person. That's right. Australia has officially and legally named Norrie May-Welby a "neuter" denoting the absence of gender. Instead of fighting and winning for a more fluid approach to gender i.e. transgender May-Welby decided to be removed from the whole idea of gender.
Part of me sings in rejoice for such an accomplishment for May-Welby and other self-identified "neuters". I understand their stance. But another part of me is a little upset or distraught. I believe that gender is a social structure, a structure that after it's construction must be deliberately reinforced, continuously, everyday. We are not born knowing how to act our social appropriate gender. We are taught. And then we look around in our environment and our socially created gender norms are reinforced through our peers, what we see other boys or other girls wearing in T.V. or just walking down the street. This is a binary structure. Meaning there are two sides there is Male and then there is Female. What is not Male is Female and vice verse which means they are opposites. This binary can be oppressive, and seems utterly absurd when taken as biological determinism instead of a human creation. Girls are not innately born with an instinctual drive towards all things pink- they are given pink things by parents and relatives. The girl picks up a pink glove and the family rejoices and praises her so she does it again later...and then later when she's 40 she praises her own daughter for using a pink crayon.
SO then the trans movement disables the gender binary. Something else that disturbed me when I was learning about it was that the trans community isn't doing anything new with gender except rearranging the already present "script". The masculine is still there, the feminine is still there. How can I pass as a man? The answer is to use the already established gender binary.
Now May-Welby has opted out of the binary completely. I'm not sure what decisions led up to self identifying as "neuter"- but I think that it's a brave attempt to make people really truly rethink gender. I don't think that it's possible though. To be genderless. Gender is so intricately interwoven in our daily rituals and this box that we live in called Gender is so huge- and has such a long history I wonder what is outside of this box? And since we have been raised inside the box, doesn't it distort our view of outside possibilities? What does a genderless society look like? Are we naked? Then biological determinism will really get us right? I am excited about the official establishment of "neuter" though- I'm curious where it will bring us- What new debates the Gender Theorists will have and who will be listening....

Birthday Parties- a Time for the Truth to Come Out

He was welcomed into our lives in 1990 Sometime before, Max had died of a 'heart attack' and was found underneath my sister's bed. Stiff, as if frozen in time on the dusty floor boards with his panicked stricken face stuck as if concrete. I don't know how we decided to find a replacement, but my sister, Liza, my father, Baba, and I piled into his brown 4-wheel drive Colt Vista. We were on a mission to find a replacement for Max.
We found him at the pound, a Boxer Spaniel mix. In order to prevent any bickering, the puppy was put in between Liza and I in the back seat. Baba's eyes dashing towards his rear view mirror excitedly. At every red light and every stop sign he would turn in his seat, the seat belt digging into his neck, as if he were going to abandon his steering wheel responsibilities and make one of us drive so he could sit in the back with his new puppy.
Baba named him Sparkle. I can clearly picture Baba mowing the backyard in perfect straight rows back and forth sweating in his fading yellow shirt that read "Sparkle" on the front. As I watched him from the living room window I wondered, where is his Karla shirt? Soon his shirt would fade to white, but the bold black letters that spelled his dog's name would defeat the gravity of time. Would mine?
Since I was old enough to work a VCR, finding a home video tape was like finding Narnia in the back of my closet. I would wait until I had the house to myself to bring the tapes out into the living room and push them into the VCR. After I would find a new tape I would walk around the house feeling the hunger within me to watch myself on T.V. rewind, fast forward, pause, play. Scanning the tape for the moment I made the cutest laugh, the moment I made the most adorable face or made the sweetest gesture towards my younger brother, Caleb. Waiting for the love my parents had for me to reveal itself on the wood paneled T.V. Or to just witness the moments, the ones that as they were happening seemed too mundane and ordinary to have remembered.
Like when we decorated the Christmas tree. Caleb seemingly cracked out on sugar and Liza directing the placement of ornaments ever so calmly and me trying to follow her instructions. And Baba, luckily recording it all. Liza, Caleb and I all sitting under the plastic Christmas tree like packages waiting to be unwrapped. The living room lights get turned off and the tree lights are quickly plugged in and as if on cue we all ooo and ah, unintentionally in unison which makes us all burst into a fit of giggles. My mother turns on the living room lights and we all boo in disappointment. Sparkle parks himself in front of Baba who is sitting on the blue carpeted floor filming us. The camera zooms in on Sparkle and we become a fixture in the background. Baba starts to play a favorite game with the dog. The 'let him bite my shoe and growl' game that my mother dislikes for many reasons. The main one being the noise that ensues. Noticing where my father's attention has wandered off to, I crawl on the floor towards Sparkle and laugh at the camera, trying to get into the frame. This is futile.
Sitting in front of the T.V. with the VCR in reach of my fingertips, I start to notice that my father rarely makes an appearance on camera. He is the person behind the lens. For Caleb's birthday my mother planned a party, inviting her whole side of the family. With my father's family still in Taiwan, he had to find comfort in the company of his in-laws. Most likely finding little or none, he busied himself with the video camera instead.
This birthday party was a joint one. My cousin and Caleb each had their separate cakes, one happy birthday song and simultaneous opening of gifts. One gift Caleb received was a blue and yellow swing that he could be safely strapped and buckled into. Baba recorded Caleb in his swing and in the background Sparkle barked. The camera makes a nauseating jolt to the left, and stops at the sight of Sparkle looking up a tree frantically barking at a squirrel. Through the barking Caleb repeats "Here I am Baba. Here I am".
My father was also the only adult at the party to indulge themselves in starting a water fight with seven kids armed with water guns. My mother took my father's post at the camera as Baba takes the gardening hose darting around my cousins, brother and sister trying to fend us off. My cousin dips his water gun into the kiddie pool attempting to reload, unsuccessfully he dips again and again with the same result. Seeing he is unarmed I walk right in front of him and take my bright yellow and orange water gun and shoot him directly in the face. I turn to see the video camera is pointing at this scene that is casually unfolding in the backyard and quickly stoop down in a nurturing motherly way towards my cousin and whisper words of encouragement and hand him my water gun.
I watch the T.V. screen in disbelief. The sweet image I had of myself cracks and falls away.

Installment Numero Uno

My memories of Sparkle and my relationship with him has a strong foundation. And that foundation is that my childhood dream was to become a pet. Not an animal but a pet. I would roll one of my mother's clean kitchen hand towels and stuff one end to the back of my pants and crawl around the house on all fours. In order to authenticate this experience I would make trips to the dog bowl and lay in all of Sparkle's favorite spots. I would lie on the carpet staring at Sparkle, envious of his marvelous life. No school, plenty of food, and endless attention from my father. Sometimes I would randomly collapse on the floor and pretend I had died to see if Sparkle would try to revive me. Once he nudged me with his wet black nose, and I thought it was a sure sign that he loved me. I would stick dog food in the pockets of my pants so that he would follow me around the house. I would glow as he mimicked my every move. He loved food, not me, but I had found a way to pretend. One day my mother told me that I could not come home from school for lunch. My mother's words greeted me like a punch in the stomach. I always walked home from school for my daily regimen of macaroni and cheese and a hot dog cut up into bite size pieces. I wasn't even quite sure where the cafeteria was. So I walked home anyways. The house was empty and Sparkle was the only one to greet me at the door. I searched the house looking for my brother and mother. After a failed search I sat on the couch and cried. I thought a child's tears were magical, able to beckon their mothers. So I cried and cried. Sparkle just laid on the floor looking bored. It was then that my envy for him climaxed. I was frantic. I didn't know what time to start walking back to school...I couldn't tell time at all. Finally my mother walked into the kitchen with Caleb holding a McDonald's Happy Meal box. I was too relieved to see my mother to be upset about missing out on McDonald's. The two feelings seemed to cancel themselves out. What was left was my dream of being a dog.

11 Year Old Will Phillips is My New Hero

Will Phillips received a GLAAD award because of a CNN piece titled "Why Will Won't Pledge Allegiance". Will won't say the pledge of allegiance at school until gays and lesbians have equal rights. Will might be young and small, but his acceptance speech is hair raising and inspirational to any activist. I'm touched by this 11 year old taking up a fight that was not forced upon him to fight. As far as I know, he's not a gay student looking for his own rights, but a citizen that believes in equality. He reminded me of the early American feminist (actually she was from Russia...) Emma Goldman that would state in her speeches that the liberty of one is raveled in with the liberty of all. And Will understood this on a humanistic level, he's not a college graduate with a major in Feminism or African American Studies which makes this all the more awe inspiring. Validating even. I would love to find more kids like him!
Here's his a video of his acceptance speech:

Bearding the Stars of Twlight

I have a new theory. This might seem inconsequential to some, but not if you're obsessed with gay Hollywood, or its rumors. This theory came to me after watching Robert Pattinson in the movie Little Ashes in which he plays Salvador Dali while in school and dealing with a confusing same sex relationship. Now, I was and I am thrown back by the wall Pattinson's PR has put up on his rumored relationship with Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart. Why would they not just say "yes they are involved" or "haha, don't be so silly, they are not a couple"? And then I remember Stewart's role in Panic Room and how she was so...Jodie Foster-ish...eh hem...someone the lesbian fan base would huddle around. SO...my master theory is that both Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are of the gay team yet don't want to ruin their young acting careers so their PR's decided to make beards out of both of them...as we say in the gay world. After thinking this out, I came to the same conclusion. It's sad. But then I remember that I can't be that saddened by something I made up. And life goes on.

Thank You Angelina- Way to go Shiloh

As is customary, I browsed the tabloid type magazines that border the check out lines at the grocery store when my eye landed on a Life and Style cover that read "Why is Angelina Turning Shiloh into a Boy?" Interesting article, at least what I read from the website...no I didn't buy a copy of the magazine. So, many are worried that Angelina and Brad are giving too much freedom to Shiloh...calling her "John", cutting her hair short, and letting her wear boy clothes. "Shiloh is pushing the boundaries of a tomboy look and crossing over to cross-dresser territory," is what fashion expert from Vh1, Alana Kelen said about it. But what does a fashion expert really need to say...is gender identity a mere fashion statement? Should style and fashion magazine look towards fashion experts for valid information on gender? Another stylist said "Hopefully we won't be seeing Maddox in one of Shiloh's dresses any time soon." WHAT?! There is not enough information in our culture that defines cross dressing, transexual, sexuality and gender identity. I'm proud of Angelina and Brad for letting their child experience gender as a fluid movement especially when the world is documenting every second of this experience.
Here's what ticked me off completely from the article:
"Little girls have never been women before," Glenn Stanton, director of Family Formation Studies at the conservative organization Focus on the Family, tells Life & Style. "They need help, they need guidance of what that looks like. It's important to teach our children that gender distinction is very healthy."
Okay yes, good job on understanding that gender is a social formation, not biological. We are taught to be boys and we are taught to be girls. Meaning this is all just a charade and none of it really matters...at all. We think that if we take this biological determinism, and just throw it off a steep jagged cliff, then males won't know how to reproduce, and will start trying to pollinate trees, and women will start opening their legs to the moon unable because they have lost their femininity. Does being feminine make women more fertile? Does showing traits of aggressiveness increase sperm count? Talk of gender identity and debates on procreation are two separate discussions. Sexuality...now we can talk procreation. Sexuality and gender identity can be related but are different. What does "turning into a boy" really mean? What are the negative connotations this article portrays? That it is possible to turn into a boy? If it is possible does it mean that it is wrong or right? That Shiloh will no longer be a girl? And what does that mean...that Shiloh will loose her vagina? (Social/Biological dichotomy...we'll get it one day) Are they saying that tomboys are reduced to horrible confusing lives riddled with mental illness and unemployment? Really Shiloh will be just fine even if she is "turning into a boy". As long as she has a family that supports her and loves her regardless, sadly, unlike the majority of our society.

Clay Aiken's Empty Closet

It's funny to think that Clay Aiken is only one town over in Raliegh, NC. (Yes I am out if town for the weekend). Would I want to attend his speech I am wondering? Or would I rather read about it tomorrow? I think the times are changing for the gays on American idol no longer staying in the closet in exchange for hopes of an equal chance. No I dint think I will go listen to Aiken's words of...? Not quite sure what he is planning for a speech but I hope he gets a bigger applause from the gay community than he got from the music industry.

Too Many Diva's Old Navy Racist Commerical

Race, Gender, and Old Navy Commercials

I have recently seen an Old Navy commercial on T.V. and after watching it I could not believe the evidence of racism and sexism. These thoughts took the back burner until I decided to do a simple Google search 'old navy commercial'. Scrolling down a little ways, I saw a website page titled "Is the new Old Navy commercial racist?". I was partly excited and relieved that I wasn't the only one with these thoughts, but mostly upset that I might be right. This is 2010 right?
Then I did some investigating and analyzing. In the two commercials (scroll down) there were some blatant themes. In the "Mid-Town Flash" there is a Black family in an otherwise white populated environment. The husband of the family asks "Doesn't Mommy look pretty in her new Mid-Town gown?" The reply is "Go Mom". The notion of the black mother being beautiful does not step beyond the bounds of the family. As if these notions of beauty differ for the black family and the other white women. After the father asks his son "Doesn't Mommy look pretty in her new Mid-Town gown?", one of the women expresses envy for the white Mannequin Kelly's legs. ("These gowns are so cute" "Especially if I had your legs".) The black woman gets the attention when a young white shopper rips the black woman's gown off her body, leaving her naked. A white male mannequin stares at her naked body remarking "sweet" and his dog barks. The now naked woman acts as if this is no big deal saying "Oh, what? Like you've never seen plastic before".
The only lines the white man has is "sweet" and the dog only barks once. Revealing a dark line that creates the difference between beauty and sexualization. The black woman is considered beautiful to her black family, and only when naked does she strike the attention of the white man and dog. And the dog. Really?! Do we really have to go back to social darwinism? Comparing Blacks to animals...?
The other commercial does not have any dogs but there is still the same sexualization. The "Too Many Diva's" Commercial (scroll down) is based on America's next top model. Watching the commercial in its' entirety, there are two black women still in the competition and nine white women. Already on a bad start....so who gets voted off? Yes one of the black girls.
Vanessa gets called forward and the commentator says "Here you rocked the new skinny jeans look". A shot of Vanessa's (not a mannequin) butt in the skinny jeans takes the screen. So Vanessa looks pretty good in skinny jeans, at least her but does. The commentator goes on to bring the bad news..."But you also rocked on your mannequin stand. Please hand in your stand" Vanessa wearily hands her stand over with tears, as a white man interjects "Call me". Lets tally things up. Vanessa has a nice butt in skinny jeans, she can not make it on the SuperModelquin Search supposedly because there are "Too Many Diva's" (total of 2), and even though Vanessa is not model material (not beautiful enough?) the white guy is willing to take his chances with the "call me". Again with the black woman does not fit into the norms of (white) beauty, but fits in perfectly to white man's sexual desires.

Old Navy Commercial "Mid-Town Flash"

Another Old Navy Commercial "Super Modelquin Super Search: Too Many Divas"

Tegan And Sara New Alligator Video

Is it weird for anyone else to see Tegan and Sara partake in a choreographed dance...? Nonetheless, it's a great video for a great song (available on itunes).

Margaret Cho's "Eat Shit and Die" with Grant Lee Phillips

Gay Discrimination Bill Will Hinder Free Speech....

In case you haven't heard, there is a bill going through Congress that would end discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Fox News reported this which can be read here. Coming from Fox News it's no surprise that Neal McCluskey was quoted saying, "The definition of harassment could be broadly interpreted that anybody who expressed a totally legitimate opinion about homosexual behavior could be made illegal." McCluskey seems worried that hate might be made illegal.
It is very important that this bill be passed. In the Civil Rights arena, gay and lesbian issues have always been left behind. Always the longest to have to fight, the last to access rights. So many LGBTQ students fear going to school because of other students taunting, and sometimes committing violent acts against LGBTQ students. This causes many LGBTQ students to miss more school days than the average student. This bill would help ensure a safer environment where all can thrive, and hate will finally see its' end. McCluskey believed that the main supporter of this bill was trying to indoctrinate homosexuality, and believed that the administration is pushing a radical social agenda by allowing this bill into Congress. This is about equality, and so that all students feel safe and have a fair chance of succeeding. The bill was made in hopes of promoting equality, not sexuality. McCluskey is wanting free hate, not free speech...

Gay and Lesbian Data Collecting, For the Best? Or just Scary?

California is creating a bill that would add questions on government forms that will include the LGBTQ community (sexual orientation, domestic partnership status, and gender identity) . It would help California provide needed services to our community. This is good. But I couldn't help but be daunted by every dystopian novel I have ever read. Call me pessimistic, but I don't have very much faith in our society to believe that the information collected will always be used for our benefit. I begin to conjure the image of all the collected data being used to round up the gays and lesbians for some awful horrible atrocity. Why? Mostly because of the Republican party and the extreme Christians. And because of this poll that was conducted. If there were teachers that worked in the public school system, that were documented as being gay, lesbian and/or trans, are they more able or more likely to try to prevent them from keeping their jobs? 73% of republicans that took the poll believe that gays and lesbians shouldn't be allowed to teach and another 19% were "not sure". Really?! Only 8% voted "yes" we should be able to teach in public schools. Until that "yes" number sky rockets up, I think if I had the decision I would want to be "undocumented"...right?!

Johnny Weir: Gay V. Gender Bender

I just finished reading an article by Lisa Neff from 365gay.com on Johnny Weir's sexual orientation and gender. Neff had some interesting points and highlighted a predicament that I have come across over and over in the gay community. And that is coming out. It is necessary for the LGBTQ community to "come out" because of the heterosexist culture that assumes that every person is straight unless a coming out statement is made. I remember asking myself if I should even make such a statement? Gay and Lesbian atheletes are in a double bind.
Women athletes often have to fight the "dyke" persona regardless of their sexual identity. Many sports like soccer and basketball are physical contact sports, usually regarded as a masculine trait. Women are stripped of the usual identity markers, made to put on a uniform that is loose fitting, they must take off their gender accessories (earrings, jewelry), and their hair is put up in a pony tail. And then they must be aggressive, which just screams cave man. As a soccer player since preschool, and taking gender identity courses, I have reflected on the masculinization of women in sports. And how sexuality and gender identity are so closely intertwined in our society that women athletes are perceived as dyk-ish lesbians. But Neff brought to light the other side for me. The winter Olympics has been a great way to observe gender in the athletics. Johnny Weir has not spoken the words "I'm gay", but many sports commentators from around the world are saying that words aren't necessary when Weir is wearing pink frills. Every one has their panties in a knot over this. Neff says we should care, that "If we can’t get past the stereotypes in sports within our community, then we likely will never get past homophobia in sports." But it's more than just homophobia, it's the ideals of gender. I think many people have more of an issue with a man wearing pink (willingly...with frills) than a man loving another man. Gender has been ingrained in us for centuries. What happened to Joan of Arc? Oh yes. Burned. For dressing up as a man. We have some sort of inclusiveness of the gay and lesbian community in the media. We have made it to T.V. out and proud. But the gender benders, are still in the dark. When they do make the news everyone is in shock! They say things like 'I get that you were in the wrong body so you became a man, but why are you with men?' The lines of gender identity and sexual orientation are ill defined in our society and culture. Fluidity is something that is not emphasized enough. Hopefully there will be a day where the words: man, pink, frills, and ice skating will not immediately point to flamboyantly gay.