The New Gender = Neuter?

Maybe I should wait for my second cup of coffee before I embark on a discussion on the world's first officially named genderless person. That's right. Australia has officially and legally named Norrie May-Welby a "neuter" denoting the absence of gender. Instead of fighting and winning for a more fluid approach to gender i.e. transgender May-Welby decided to be removed from the whole idea of gender.
Part of me sings in rejoice for such an accomplishment for May-Welby and other self-identified "neuters". I understand their stance. But another part of me is a little upset or distraught. I believe that gender is a social structure, a structure that after it's construction must be deliberately reinforced, continuously, everyday. We are not born knowing how to act our social appropriate gender. We are taught. And then we look around in our environment and our socially created gender norms are reinforced through our peers, what we see other boys or other girls wearing in T.V. or just walking down the street. This is a binary structure. Meaning there are two sides there is Male and then there is Female. What is not Male is Female and vice verse which means they are opposites. This binary can be oppressive, and seems utterly absurd when taken as biological determinism instead of a human creation. Girls are not innately born with an instinctual drive towards all things pink- they are given pink things by parents and relatives. The girl picks up a pink glove and the family rejoices and praises her so she does it again later...and then later when she's 40 she praises her own daughter for using a pink crayon.
SO then the trans movement disables the gender binary. Something else that disturbed me when I was learning about it was that the trans community isn't doing anything new with gender except rearranging the already present "script". The masculine is still there, the feminine is still there. How can I pass as a man? The answer is to use the already established gender binary.
Now May-Welby has opted out of the binary completely. I'm not sure what decisions led up to self identifying as "neuter"- but I think that it's a brave attempt to make people really truly rethink gender. I don't think that it's possible though. To be genderless. Gender is so intricately interwoven in our daily rituals and this box that we live in called Gender is so huge- and has such a long history I wonder what is outside of this box? And since we have been raised inside the box, doesn't it distort our view of outside possibilities? What does a genderless society look like? Are we naked? Then biological determinism will really get us right? I am excited about the official establishment of "neuter" though- I'm curious where it will bring us- What new debates the Gender Theorists will have and who will be listening....

Birthday Parties- a Time for the Truth to Come Out

He was welcomed into our lives in 1990 Sometime before, Max had died of a 'heart attack' and was found underneath my sister's bed. Stiff, as if frozen in time on the dusty floor boards with his panicked stricken face stuck as if concrete. I don't know how we decided to find a replacement, but my sister, Liza, my father, Baba, and I piled into his brown 4-wheel drive Colt Vista. We were on a mission to find a replacement for Max.
We found him at the pound, a Boxer Spaniel mix. In order to prevent any bickering, the puppy was put in between Liza and I in the back seat. Baba's eyes dashing towards his rear view mirror excitedly. At every red light and every stop sign he would turn in his seat, the seat belt digging into his neck, as if he were going to abandon his steering wheel responsibilities and make one of us drive so he could sit in the back with his new puppy.
Baba named him Sparkle. I can clearly picture Baba mowing the backyard in perfect straight rows back and forth sweating in his fading yellow shirt that read "Sparkle" on the front. As I watched him from the living room window I wondered, where is his Karla shirt? Soon his shirt would fade to white, but the bold black letters that spelled his dog's name would defeat the gravity of time. Would mine?
Since I was old enough to work a VCR, finding a home video tape was like finding Narnia in the back of my closet. I would wait until I had the house to myself to bring the tapes out into the living room and push them into the VCR. After I would find a new tape I would walk around the house feeling the hunger within me to watch myself on T.V. rewind, fast forward, pause, play. Scanning the tape for the moment I made the cutest laugh, the moment I made the most adorable face or made the sweetest gesture towards my younger brother, Caleb. Waiting for the love my parents had for me to reveal itself on the wood paneled T.V. Or to just witness the moments, the ones that as they were happening seemed too mundane and ordinary to have remembered.
Like when we decorated the Christmas tree. Caleb seemingly cracked out on sugar and Liza directing the placement of ornaments ever so calmly and me trying to follow her instructions. And Baba, luckily recording it all. Liza, Caleb and I all sitting under the plastic Christmas tree like packages waiting to be unwrapped. The living room lights get turned off and the tree lights are quickly plugged in and as if on cue we all ooo and ah, unintentionally in unison which makes us all burst into a fit of giggles. My mother turns on the living room lights and we all boo in disappointment. Sparkle parks himself in front of Baba who is sitting on the blue carpeted floor filming us. The camera zooms in on Sparkle and we become a fixture in the background. Baba starts to play a favorite game with the dog. The 'let him bite my shoe and growl' game that my mother dislikes for many reasons. The main one being the noise that ensues. Noticing where my father's attention has wandered off to, I crawl on the floor towards Sparkle and laugh at the camera, trying to get into the frame. This is futile.
Sitting in front of the T.V. with the VCR in reach of my fingertips, I start to notice that my father rarely makes an appearance on camera. He is the person behind the lens. For Caleb's birthday my mother planned a party, inviting her whole side of the family. With my father's family still in Taiwan, he had to find comfort in the company of his in-laws. Most likely finding little or none, he busied himself with the video camera instead.
This birthday party was a joint one. My cousin and Caleb each had their separate cakes, one happy birthday song and simultaneous opening of gifts. One gift Caleb received was a blue and yellow swing that he could be safely strapped and buckled into. Baba recorded Caleb in his swing and in the background Sparkle barked. The camera makes a nauseating jolt to the left, and stops at the sight of Sparkle looking up a tree frantically barking at a squirrel. Through the barking Caleb repeats "Here I am Baba. Here I am".
My father was also the only adult at the party to indulge themselves in starting a water fight with seven kids armed with water guns. My mother took my father's post at the camera as Baba takes the gardening hose darting around my cousins, brother and sister trying to fend us off. My cousin dips his water gun into the kiddie pool attempting to reload, unsuccessfully he dips again and again with the same result. Seeing he is unarmed I walk right in front of him and take my bright yellow and orange water gun and shoot him directly in the face. I turn to see the video camera is pointing at this scene that is casually unfolding in the backyard and quickly stoop down in a nurturing motherly way towards my cousin and whisper words of encouragement and hand him my water gun.
I watch the T.V. screen in disbelief. The sweet image I had of myself cracks and falls away.

Installment Numero Uno

My memories of Sparkle and my relationship with him has a strong foundation. And that foundation is that my childhood dream was to become a pet. Not an animal but a pet. I would roll one of my mother's clean kitchen hand towels and stuff one end to the back of my pants and crawl around the house on all fours. In order to authenticate this experience I would make trips to the dog bowl and lay in all of Sparkle's favorite spots. I would lie on the carpet staring at Sparkle, envious of his marvelous life. No school, plenty of food, and endless attention from my father. Sometimes I would randomly collapse on the floor and pretend I had died to see if Sparkle would try to revive me. Once he nudged me with his wet black nose, and I thought it was a sure sign that he loved me. I would stick dog food in the pockets of my pants so that he would follow me around the house. I would glow as he mimicked my every move. He loved food, not me, but I had found a way to pretend. One day my mother told me that I could not come home from school for lunch. My mother's words greeted me like a punch in the stomach. I always walked home from school for my daily regimen of macaroni and cheese and a hot dog cut up into bite size pieces. I wasn't even quite sure where the cafeteria was. So I walked home anyways. The house was empty and Sparkle was the only one to greet me at the door. I searched the house looking for my brother and mother. After a failed search I sat on the couch and cried. I thought a child's tears were magical, able to beckon their mothers. So I cried and cried. Sparkle just laid on the floor looking bored. It was then that my envy for him climaxed. I was frantic. I didn't know what time to start walking back to school...I couldn't tell time at all. Finally my mother walked into the kitchen with Caleb holding a McDonald's Happy Meal box. I was too relieved to see my mother to be upset about missing out on McDonald's. The two feelings seemed to cancel themselves out. What was left was my dream of being a dog.

11 Year Old Will Phillips is My New Hero

Will Phillips received a GLAAD award because of a CNN piece titled "Why Will Won't Pledge Allegiance". Will won't say the pledge of allegiance at school until gays and lesbians have equal rights. Will might be young and small, but his acceptance speech is hair raising and inspirational to any activist. I'm touched by this 11 year old taking up a fight that was not forced upon him to fight. As far as I know, he's not a gay student looking for his own rights, but a citizen that believes in equality. He reminded me of the early American feminist (actually she was from Russia...) Emma Goldman that would state in her speeches that the liberty of one is raveled in with the liberty of all. And Will understood this on a humanistic level, he's not a college graduate with a major in Feminism or African American Studies which makes this all the more awe inspiring. Validating even. I would love to find more kids like him!
Here's his a video of his acceptance speech:

Bearding the Stars of Twlight

I have a new theory. This might seem inconsequential to some, but not if you're obsessed with gay Hollywood, or its rumors. This theory came to me after watching Robert Pattinson in the movie Little Ashes in which he plays Salvador Dali while in school and dealing with a confusing same sex relationship. Now, I was and I am thrown back by the wall Pattinson's PR has put up on his rumored relationship with Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart. Why would they not just say "yes they are involved" or "haha, don't be so silly, they are not a couple"? And then I remember Stewart's role in Panic Room and how she was so...Jodie Foster-ish...eh hem...someone the lesbian fan base would huddle around. SO...my master theory is that both Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are of the gay team yet don't want to ruin their young acting careers so their PR's decided to make beards out of both of them...as we say in the gay world. After thinking this out, I came to the same conclusion. It's sad. But then I remember that I can't be that saddened by something I made up. And life goes on.